Fifty Shades of "Nay"

I do my best to keep in touch with my ninety year old aunt. She prefers "Auntie Mame" to her given name because she's a huge fan of the musical and it's her ambition to enliven the lives of the people she cares for, too. 

Auntie M:  Have you read this new book, Fifty Shades of Grey?
Me:  I only got through a few pages...the writing was terrible
Auntie M:  It's pretty sexy...
(I have to stop and take a breath here. Yeah, my aunt's been married three times, but she's ninety)
Me:  You're okay with that?
Auntie M:  No, not really...but the books were given to me by X...
(X is her daughter-in-law, the recent widow of her only son. She takes good care of Auntie M but I don't believe she would want my aunt to be uncomfortable or unhappy)
Me:  You don't have to read every book that's given...
Auntie M:  But she says it's really good...
Me:  Good is a matter of taste--not everyone has to like the same things...
Auntie M:  She and her girlfriend are going to take me out to dinner and the movies and we're going to see the film...
Me:  You want to see it?
Auntie M:  (pause) .... no
Me:  (gets out phone and looks up the Rotten Tomatoes rating for Fifty Shades of Grey.) It only got 25 on Rotten Tomatoes. That's not very good.
Auntie M:  I liked that movie...
Me:  Huh?
Auntie M:  The one about fried green tomatoes...
Me:  No, Auntie, Rotten Tomatoes is a rating group for movies. The rating's from zero to 100 with 100 being the best. Fifty Shades of Grey got a 25.
Auntie M:  It didn't deserve that much from what I'm reading...
Me:  If you don't want to finish the book...
Auntie M:  I've got the other two, they lent them to me...
Me:  You don't have to read stuff you don't like.  It's not like there's going to be quiz or something...
Auntie M:  But we're going to dinner and to the movie...
Me:  (looking at listings) There are several other films you could suggest to see instead. (I list them and tell her about them..)
Auntie M:  Maybe the weather will turn bad...
Me:  Why not just suggest another film?  Auntie M, if you're not comfortable reading the book, you're not going to like the movie much better....
Auntie M:  Maybe I'll get sick....
Me:  Maybe you'll just say "No thanks, let's go see another movie. That's what the girl should have said in the book...."
Auntie M:  It looks like snow....
Me:  The forecast would be better if it looked like NO!

No is a two-letter word, which is easy to say when we're two years old. It gets harder as we age. We don't want to be perceived as negative or fun-haters. We want to fit in.

Too many women are taught to please, to make the people we love happy without thought to our own happiness, let alone just plain comfort. 

The best thing we can learn to do is say, "No thank you," and make an alternate suggestion if there's something else we want to do.

R. Kyle, April 2015