Back when I worked as a Research Assistant at the Department
of Commerce, I literally knew what it was like to get the ‘shit’ jobs.
Literally.
My boss called me in to her office and told me she had an
important assignment for me. It was my first legislative query. One of the
State Representatives from the Eastern part of Oklahoma wanted a report on
chicken waste recycling.
Yes, even then, Oklahoma recognized their problem. With
chicken farming in the east and pig farming in the west, they were literally up
to their elbows in poop.
Worse, if they didn’t do something, that poop was going to
taint their groundwater and nobody could wash off their dirty elbows or
whatever part was affected.
My boss didn’t want the job—so she gave it to me. Her words,
not mine.
Keep in mind, I don’t object to this kind of thing. I love
science and the idea of recycling something nobody wants fits my values. So, I
set to work contacting the folks in the industry to find out just what could be
done.
I learned about pelletizing waste into fertilizer, or fuel
pellets that would burn in stoves. Much to my dismay, I learned that many
chicken breeders were already re-using their birds’ waste—by recycling it into
chicken food feeding it back to them. Can’t say as I’ve cared for chicken much
since.
Oh, and I got samples. My office was fragrant. The upside—my
nose was usually stopped up that time of year and NOBODY came in to see what I
was doing.
By the time I was done, I had a neat little report with a
bunch of labeled odiferous exhibits.
And a nickname, The Chicken Shit Queen.
However, I got the last laugh. Because after all those years
of taking shit from the Oklahoma Legislature, I got to send some right back to
them.
Rebecca McFarland Kyle, January 2013
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